♈ My head's still spinning about this whole ordeal. I just don't know what to think about it. Being with Xzorn made me feel so safe... I used to feel safe with Nide, but he hasn't been around, so maybe that's why I've been a bit edgy lately. But still, I don't understand how I could let this happen! It doesn't make any sense! I can't be in love with him! I just can't!! The whole time I was kissing him, though it was only a moment, my conscience kept running all these thoughts through my head. "What're you doing?! This is so wrong! It's Xzorn, for god's sake! What about Nide?! What if he finds out?! How could you let this shit happen?! Don't let him break your heart! Don't be so naive! He'll just leave you as a victim!! Don't be his trophy! You know it's all he wants!! Get his hands off of you!! You're such a slut!!!!"
Am I just getting weak? Am I giving in? Do I just want to believe him? I just feel sick. I don't know what to think of all this. Most of my life has been all about gaining control. Control of my powers, control of my life... But now, it seems like all that was for nothing. I can't even control my own fucking emotions.
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